The first time I had sex was awful. Definitely not the most pleasurable experience- not unlike most first times I’m sure. We were two awkward 17-year-olds. On a couch. In a basement. Trying to figure out what goes where and how.
The thing was, I wasn’t all that into the guy- I was mostly into the idea of losing my virginity. I thought that it was time to “get it over with”. All of my friends lost their virginity by junior year, and here I was about to graduate high school without having sex? Unacceptable.
Obviously, I realize now that I was stupid, but it is what it is.
Anyway, that first time was bad. And so was the second, and the third. I’m sure the fact that I wasn’t really attracted to the guy had a bit to do with it, but the whole experience just seemed so… unfulfilling.
Hindsight is 20/20, I should have been more upfront with my wants/needs. We were young, I can’t blame him for not knowing what to do.
We dated for almost a year, and while I didn’t necessarily hate the sex- it never blew my mind. It was always the same. Quick and to the point. For him.
Flash forward a few years and I happened to meet someone I really genuinely connected with for the first time.
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